Friends and Places Together was an addressed need that our CEO, Deni Nygate, recognised through her over 30 years of experience with working with people who have disabilities.
After a conversation with an advocate and parent it motivated Deni to set up a service.
The service idea was set up in 2010 as a community interest company where Deni discussed with parents and children who attended special schools in the local area about their friendships. What came out of the discussion was that over 90% of the people asked had never had a friend round to their home or had met their friends in the community without their parents.
Most parents did not know who their children’s friends were, as they were taken to school via minibus or taxi and did not get that interaction with other parents. This was concerning for parents whose children were moving on to college and they didn’t want friendships to be lost. What also came about was the isolation not just of their children but as carers as well.
There was clearly a gap in the market for a service that focused on friendships. Using funding from Southend Borough Council a pilot scheme (2011) was put in place to allow young people to meet up with their friends outside the school or home environment. An independent evaluation from the ‘Foundation for people with learning disabilities’ clearly showed a need for a service that facilitates friendships for young people in Southend. The service offered a lot more than just friendships.
In 2014 we officially became a charity and have been going from strength to strength ever since. We have supported over 150 young people to experience the social life they deserve.
Our goal is to always help those who are struggling. Forming friendships is hard for a lot of people. We want to create a warm and safe environment for everyone to feel free to express themselves and make true connections with others. We offer a place where everyone is accepting to be able to express themselves and help transition into adults. We have seen many people gain confidence, assertive skills, independent skills and a right to have a social life and friends.
Our staff as well as being DBS checked, are trained to help build friendships by being fully committed to helping others. They are patient and open-minded and endeavour to cater to everyone’s hobbies and interests. The staff we employ are young to reflect the ages of those we support and so everyone feels comfortable to be themselves, while still being supervised. Above all they are empathetic and caring and will always be there to listen to someone’s problems.
The building of friends and connections can be a long-term process. We therefore have Personal Development Plan for all our service users to reflect their personal journey with our charity. It is a great tool to see all the vast improvements people have made. It can outline all the new friendships made, the greater independence gained, the more confidence felt and so much more.
Seeing the amazing changes that our service users go through after accessing our support is amazing. Many arrive, low on confidence, lacking friends and wanting to do more but not knowing what to do or where to start.
After support with us, we see lifelong friendships develop and the change in mood and outlook on life is incredibly rewarding. To see someone really struggling and witnessing them turn it all around and knowing you helped with that, there is nothing better.
We are most proud when service users no longer need us anymore. They have built their connections and learnt the social skills and have matured into confident and amazing friends and have their social needs met outside of our support.
